Secret Lives

Fiction ~ novel
Published 1932
Approx. 116,000 words
(First read 20/07/1998)

Paying Guests

Fiction ~ novel
Published 1929
Approx. 100,000 words
(First read 22/10/1995)

Colin

Fiction ~ novel
Published 1923
Approx. 116,000 words
(First read 10/01/1995)

Colin tells the everyday story of the Stanier family, of Stanier, near Rye, in the County of Sussex.  The first section recounts their history from around 1600, when the first Colin Stanier made a Faustian pact with the Devil, to 1900, when our hero the latest Colin is born.  At the start of the second section guess how many years have passed ...  I don't need to spell it out, do I?  Well, inevitably Colin is, on the outside, EFB Type A ~ blond hair, dazzlingly beautiful, wonderfully charming, etc.  Unfortunately, on the inside he's a psychopath¹.
Now it has ere been a Stanier family failing ~ amongst others (psychopathy, alcoholism, misogyny ...) ~ that they're all plain addicted to their family seat, built by the first Colin.  [My apologies, folks ~ I'm going to have to cut this one short, I'm afraid: I'm suffering from acute writer's block over it.]  The remainder of the book deals with Colin's attempts to secure the house for himself, despite his not being entitled to it ~ he has an older twin.

In some respects Colin is actually quite good; in others it suffers from all the customary Bensonian defects.  Among the latter are: the absurdity of the plot; too much repetition and recapping; and the absurdity of the plot.  [Joke.]  Its strengths ~ and these are very rare strengths for EFB books ~ are that the author has wholeheartedly let
rip with Colin Stanier, thrown himself into the character², with the result that, preposterous though he is, he is at least consistent and believable; and, preposterous though the plot might be, it's strangely compelling: I actually put it down eager to read the sequel, for which see Colin II.

¹ Benson never actually uses the term, despite its having been around for nearly 30 years at the time of his writing Colin.
² To the best of my recollection, Benson never actually condemns Colin: he merely tells us what he thinks and describes what he does.  His attitude toward the character is, at best, uncommitted. 

THE CRITICS

A reasonable explanation for many young men of the present day is here provided: Their ancestors sold their souls to the devil and the paper, discounted three centuries ago, has just come due.

~The Bookman's Guide to Fiction, 11/1923

Buntingford Jugs

Fiction ~ short story
Published December 1925
Approx. 5,000 words
(First read 27/12/1994) 

Mrs Aylwin is a Benson Type No. 7:

... comely; she could also have been called buxom.  Her age might have been forty-five, but it was fifty, and she found fifty a very pleasant age to be.  She had been a widow for ten years, and these ten years had been the busiest and far the happiest of her life.

Her pleasure is to collect antiques and bric-a-brac, anything from Aubusson carpets to 'ornaments made of shells'.   The sole teeny-weeny fly in this rich, creamy ointment is her friend and fellow aficionado Mr Anthony Coleham who will insist on proposing marriage.  Did I say 'teeny-weeny'?  In fact:

He was a large man, pleasantly furnished with flesh, and filled a chair beautifully.

In an effort to win over his reluctant inamorata, Mr C begins a campaign to buy up every piece of Buntingford ware on the market ~ this happens to be Mrs A's latest collecting fad ~ with a view to making a wedding present of it to her.  The story has its charms, but is promising only up to the dénouement when it sadly comes rather unknotted.  Available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

THE CRITICS

 

Brilliant literary talent distinguishes the handsome Christmas Number of the Windsor Magazine, stories of outstanding novelty and interest being contributed by Horace Annesely Vachell, E. F. Benson [etc. etc.]

~The Grantham Journal [UK], 12/12/1925

George's Secret

Fiction ~ short story
Published 21st November 1894
Approx. 1,800 words
(First read 27/12/1994)

My original 1994 review of this one was a tad dismissive:

A fishing story.  Picture this: I'm sitting in my London club on a dreary afternoon in November at the tail end of the 19th century.  All inside is snug as a bug; I've just had a splendid lunch.  I pick up The Sketch and find in it a new story by 'that Benson cove'.  "Jolly good," I think to myself; "he's always good to pass an idle moment."  I embark on George's Secret ... and after no more than two minutes I'm sound asleep.

I re-read it last June (2013) and actually found it quite funny.  It's the simple tale of a chap who, having never fished before, goes at it like a bull angling for Dresden figurines, and ~ much to the displeasure of his pals ~ has stupendous beginner's luck.  When he introduces 'Art' to his technique, the streak fails.  Available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

By the Sluice

Fiction ~ short story (spook)
Published in The Tatler, 25th March 1927
Approx. 4,700 words
(First read 27/12/1994) 

The first of three spook stories to be found in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).  [EFB?] goes to spend a weekend with his friends Louis Carrington + wife.  Louis is a bank manager and it turns out his sub-manager has mysteriously gone missing after embezzling a 'paltry sum' from the bank.  The usual kinds of ghostly happening come to pass (including a phone-call from the beyond), all enveloped in a thick fog for added atmosphere, until the mystery is revealed.  Actually quite a good story of its type ~ the motivation for the sub-manager's initial crime is discreetly swept under the carpet so as not to detract from the spookiness.

Boxing Night

Fiction ~ short story
Published in The Tatler, 30th November 1923
Approx. 5,700 words
(First read 27/12/1994) 

In this one it's Hugh Grainger who gets to tell the story, which is of two sisters living in an isolated farmhouse in Romney Marsh who both dream the same premonitory dream, which comes to pass ... kind of.   You couldn't really call this a 'ghost story' because there aren't any actual ghosts in it, just premonitions.  As Hughie says:

Ghosts, clairvoyant visions, true presentiments, and dreams are all glimpses of the unseen [...]  Such messages and messengers come from we know not where, and we know not how they come, but certainly they do come.  Often the very act of communication appears difficult: those beyond the ken of our normal perceptions find it hard to get into touch with us, and often the messages get distorted or bungled in transit.

Boxing Night deals with one such distorted message.  Not a bad story at all.  Available in The Technique of the Ghost Story (1993) and in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994), but sadly not available online at present. 


THE CRITICS

[…] No. 12, The Top Landing, and Boxing Night are short, sharp and gruesome. They ring the changes on some favourite Bensonian themes of suicide and premonition, paranoia and nightmare, fitting in fine with the more familiar tales included [in the collection].

~Alexis Lykiard. Quoted from his review of Ash-Tree Press' Mrs Amworth, first published in All Hallows magazine, 10/2001