Miss Maria's Romance

Fiction ~ short story
Published 25th November 1899
Approx. 4,700 words
(First read 22/12/1994)

Ageing spinsters Jane and Maria Chermside live in quiet gentility in a cathedral town.  Jane, the elder, is something of a tyrant; her sister, who reads far too many novels, one day receives a letter from a secret admirer ...  Light, charming, fun.  Available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories.

My Friend the Murderer

Fiction ~ short story
Published October 1895
Approx. 5,800 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

One of EFB's earliest published stories.  Despite being a fairly humdrum crime anecdote (set in Greece*, where else?), I'm sure Mr O. Wilde & Co. would've loved it and instantly spotted a 'fellow traveller' in Benson.  The fruitiest bit of homoeroticism is worth quoting in full ~ the narrator's talking about his Greek pal of the title, who's been on the lam for a while [my italics added]:

He got up and stretched himself after his meal, and for a moment I really thought his head would go through the top of my tent, and, standing on a chair, I measured him against the pole.  He was just over six-foot-six.  "Yes, you have grown," I said, "and your tunic is getting too short."

Available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994)

* No, not that Greece ~ just plain ordinary 1890s Greece.

The Five Foolish Virgins

Fiction ~ short story
Published 25th March 1925
Approx. 2,800 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

An Amy Bondham story ~ for the others click on the appropriate tag below.  In this one our blood-sucking social-climbing heroine and patroness of the arts purloins a rival's up-and-coming young playwright and suffers a humiliating soirée when he reads from his latest meisterwerk at it.  She's ultimately rewarded for her efforts, though.  A charming bit of Lucian nonsense, available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

'Complete Rest'

Fiction ~ short story
Published 10th January 1923
Approx. 2,400 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

Another Amy Bondham story ~ for the others click on the appropriate tag below.  This one tells the tale of the social-climbing Mrs B's party clashing with that of the Countess of Rye ~ which she hasn't been invited to.  Rather than suffer the indignity of hosting a party at which only the dregs of society ~ those not invited to dear Peggy Rye's grand affair ~ will be present, Amy cancels her own soirée and orders herself a spell of 'complete rest' at her house in Harlow ...  Starting to sound familiar? ~ once again, EFB recycled this plot in Lucia in London, to great effect.  Lucia fans will enjoy revisiting it in 'Complete Rest'.  The story's available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

The Lovers

Fiction ~ short story
First published in The Tatler, 15th November 1922
Collected in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994)
Approx. 2,300 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

An Amy Bondham story.  (For others of these click on the appropriate tag below.)  Mrs Bondham is a very close relative of Lucia, the main differences being that the former is honest (at least to herself, anyway) and less pretentious.  In this comic story she decides to further her 'career' by adopting a chaste lover in the form of Stephen Merriall.  Excruciating hilarity ensues when, at a house-party, they are given communicating rooms ...  Does this sound familiar? ~ it should if you've read Lucia in London, in which EFB recycles the plot even down to the exact name of the 'lover'.  Still, it's a fun little story, available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

The Exposure of Pamela

Fiction ~ short story
Published August 1924
Approx. 5,400 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

'Fred' at his desk

Benson recycled the theme and characters of this story ~ ageing author is ousted from the public's attention by the rising star of his young author nephew ~ in his novel Alan (1924).  A very bittersweet tale.  Available in Fine Feathers and Other Stories (1994).

Professor Burnaby's Discovery

Fiction ~ short story
First published in The Storyteller, June 1926
Collected in Fine Feathers and Other Stories, 1994
Approx. 6,750 words
(First read 21/12/1994)

Christopher Heaton and his wife own a hotel on the Nile in Egypt in 1919.  Business is bad so they decide to organize the biggest scam in the history of Egyptological scams: the discovery of the Queen of Sheba's tomb.  Luckily for Christopher, he just happens to be a dab hand at forging antiquities, etc.  Well, that's the premise of it.  The tone is ~ I think ~ meant to be light; but the whole thing is sadly somewhat leaden, and is about 5,000 words too long.